Hell of a send-off. This way.
- Where's Strutter? - He's gotta be inside somewhere.
Two, gentlemen?
I got a nice booth over here just against the wall.
Do you think you could find something a little closer to the stage?
- What's wrong with a booth? - I once had a nasty turn in a booth.
- Bourbon. No ice, please. - Two Sazeracs.
Where's your sense of adventure, James? This is New Orleans. Relax.
When you were young and your heart was an open book
Oh, you used to say live and let live
- One of you guys called Felix Leiter? - Yeah. Right here.
Telephone call for you. Guy called Strutter.
Thanks. For a minute there, I thought Harry was laying down on the job.
Say live and let die
What does it matter to ya
When you got a job to do you got to do it well
You gotta give the other fella hell
What happened to my...
- What happened to my friend? - What happened to your friend?
Thanks for droppin' in, baby.
Yeah, you one tough pig to nail down.
You've been pickin' at me like some kind of maggot.
First you go up to Harlem and kill one of the brothers.
That disturbed me.
Well, then you go and steal this valuable young lady...
from my good friend, Dr. Kananga.
Now, old Kananga, he believes in all that card crap. I mean, he's mad.
Well, possession being nine points of the law...
I would say Kananga is your problem now. Thank you.
In fact, if I were you, I'd watch my step from now on.
Yeah, well, you just let me handle our business with the man.
I've got my own plans for you, baby.
But first...
there's one little question that he wants answers for.
In that case, you'd better ship me back to the island and let him ask in person.
I'm not in the habit of giving answers to lackeys.
You damn lucky you got a head left to hear the question with...
which is... Did you mess with that?
That's between Solitaire and myself and Kananga. I'll tell him when I see him.
You ain't gonna see the sunlight unless you answer me!
I had no idea you were so frightened of him.
- Did you touch her? - When I see Kananga.
Right.
Quite revealing.
Kananga, poppy grower in thousands of acres of well-camouflaged fields...
protected by the voodoo threat of Baron Samedi.
And there's Mr. Big, distributor and wholesaler...
through a chain of Fillet of Soul restaurants.
Wholesale?
Sell heroin for money?
My apologies. I'm sure you simply give it away.
Excellent, Mr. Bond.
That's precisely what I intend to do.
Two tons of it to be exact.
When entering into a fiercely competitive field...
one finds it advisable to give away free samples.
Man or woman, black or white. I don't discriminate.
Two tons of heroin with a street value well over a billion dollars...
nationally distributed free?
That should make a certain group of families rather angry, wouldn't you say?
Angry?
Why, my dear Mr. Bond...
it'll drive them out of their minds and, subsequently, out of the business.
Quite ingenious. A sort of junkie's welfare system.
Well, merely until the number of addicts in the country...
has doubled, shall we say?
Then I will begin to market that acreage that you blundered into the other day.
That heroin will be very expensive, leaving myself and the phone company...
the only two going monopolies in this nation for years to come.
And here I thought it was Solitaire did the fortunetelling.
Let's hope for both of your sakes she still can.
The question still stands, Mr. Bond, asked by the gentleman concerned.
Did you touch her?
Why, it's not the sort of question a gentleman answers.
Well, having set the example...
I don't expect Miss Solitaire to be any less the lady.
By the way...
that's a particularly handsome watch you're wearing, Mr. Bond.
- May I see it, please? - You'll forgive me if I don't get up.
Butter hook.
Tee Hee...
on the first wrong answer from Miss Solitaire...
you will snip the little finger off Mr. Bond's right hand.
Starting with the second wrong answer...
you'll proceed to the more vital areas.
Solitaire, my dear...
I want you to listen to me very carefully.
On the back of Mr. Bond's watch, the registration number...
3266.
Do I speak the truth?
You speak the truth.
Well.
If nothing else, at least I have laid your fears to rest.
My compliments on a splendid operation.
There is one thing, however, the...
Whisper, take him to the farm.
When do we start back?
Soon, Solitaire, soon.
Solitaire, why?
I treated you well. You lacked for nothing.
- I don't understand what you... - Mr. Bond's watch, my dear.
I gave you every break possible. You had a 50-50 chance.
You weren't even close.
I had no choice.
Please believe me. The cards.
When the time came, I myself would have given you love.
You knew that. You knew that!
There's only one proper way to deal with this.
And one proper time.
The tonnage order is nearly complete.
We move it out tonight.
And I mean tonight.
Mr. Bond.
How much do you know about crocodiles, Bond?
Oh, I've always tried to keep them at arm's length, myself.
Cute little nippers, ain't they?
I don't suppose those potential overnight bags are orphans?
Oh, no. We have some moms and dads as well.
In fact, quite a few thousand.
This is the part I like best... feeding time.
I suspect the highlight of the tour.
Some of these babies live to be 200 years old.
Look over there.
That's an alligator. You can always tell by its round nose.
Aha! There's old Albert.
Now, he's a croc.
Got overcareless with him sometime back and he took my whole arm off.
- Well done, Albert. - They'll eat anything, even each other.
Then again, sometime they can go a whole year without eating.
- Oh, I was rather counting on that. - There are two ways...
to disable a crocodile, you know.
I don't suppose you care to share that information with me?
One way is to take a pencil and jam it in the depression hold behind his eyes.
And the other?
Oh, the other is twice as simple.
You just put your hand in his mouth...
and pull his teeth out.
It's on fire!
Adam, get him!
Adam, get the car! Head him off! Hector, move, damn it!
Bond ripped off one of our boats! He's headed for the Irish Bayou.
The man that gets him stays alive.
Now, move, you mother...
Toby!
Toby, I got me a regular Ben Hur down here...
doin' 95 minimum.
- Need any help, J.W.? - Hell, no!
You got a set of wheels that just won't quit, boy...
if they's yours, that is.
You spin around, boy. Ten fingers on the fender.
Legs apart.
I'm sure this ain't exactly your debut with this sort of thing.
You picked the wrong parish to haul ass through, boy.
Nobody cuts and runs on Sheriff J.W. Pepper...
and it's him speaking now, by the by.
What the fu...
J.W., soon as you nail that offending vehicle...
Miss Pearson just called.
Seems her dog's foamin' all at the mouth.
She's got him locked up in the shed...
wonderin' if you'd like to come over and shoot it for her.
You tell Miss Pearson take a flyin'... Dog.
That look like a boat stuck in the sheriff's car there, Eddie?
Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.
By the powers invested in me...
by this parish...
I hereby do commandeer this vehicle...
and all those persons within.
And that means you, smart-ass.
Unit 23 in position.
Ten-four, 23. Come in, 28.
Hey, J.W., seems like Deke Rogers...
done got his boat stole off the river...
but picked up a new one in his swimmin' pool.
Sheriff, you want to get your boys off our frequency?
Give me that! Now you listen to me, trooper boy!
We got a swamp full of black Russians...
driving boats to beat the band down here!
Relax, Sheriff. We've got a roadblock waiting for them at Miller's Bridge.
Unit 26 at Miller's Bridge. We're just about all set here.
Make that secure there, you hear?
Okay, fellas, here they come.
All right, out of my way! I'm in charge here!
You two boys, come on!
I don't want excuses, trooper. I want those two men and their boats...
- apprehended immediately, did you hear? - Yes, sir, Captain.
I understand. But I don't know right off...
where we're going to find a boat fast enough to catch 'em.
I got it. You call my brother-in-law Billy Bob.
He got the fastest boat on the whole damn river!
Billy Bob will sure enough fix their ass, huh? Yeah, call Billy Bob.
Now, there's two boats, Billy Bob, and they're movin' like buttered pigs.
Now, I promised these boys here you would get 'em.
- Don't let me down, hear? - Cool down, J.W. I'm on my way.
- You want somethin', boy? - I'd like to borrow this boat, if I may.
Everybody on the river would like to borrow this boat.
Billy Bob, we got 'em spotted.
They're headed for Haley's Landing.
That's my brother-in-law! That's Billy Bob!
He'll get 'em. Billy Bob'll get 'em.
Hot damn!
If one side of the Pepper family don't get 'em, the other side will.
Let's go!
If any man can show just cause...
why they may not lawfully be joined together...
let him now speak, or else hereafter and forever...
Headquarters to all units, suspects seen...
proceeding down Via Liberty towards Highway 11.
Proceed with caution.
Would you get that chicken coop off the road?
Did you ever think of gettin' a driver's license, boy?
Are you sure that was your brother-in-law, Sheriff?
- Hello, Felix. What are you doing here? - We'll get to that later.
Kananga's in town. He's got your girl with him. They just took off.
There's the son of a bitch! I got him!
What are you?
Some kind of doomsday machine, boy?
Well, we got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here.
- Would you enlighten the sheriff? - Yes, sir.
J.W., let me have a word with you.
J.W., now, this fella's from London, England.
He's an Englishman working in cooperation with our boys...
a sort of secret agent.
Secret agent?
On whose side?
We busted the Fillet of Soul an hour ago.
We came up with nothing but these.
Kananga's clear. You should have seen...
the size of the guy who got on the boat with him.
Nine feet tall, I swear.
Big top hat, a cockamamie flute in one hand and Solitaire in the other.
The incendiary bombs are set for midnight.
Now, that gives you exactly 30 minutes.
Watch out for sharks on the way back.
- I'll see you for breakfast, Felix. - Good hunting.
You're going to need these and the shark gun on the way back.
- Seems like the party's started. - My regards to Baron Samedi...
right between the eyes.
Trouble!
Ah, Mr. Bond, there you are! And Miss Solitaire, as well.
Hardly unexpected, but most welcome.
Whisper!
Two more glasses for our guests!
- What shall we drink to, Mr. Bond? - Well, how about an earthquake?
- Welcome home! Where's our boy? - He'll be along anytime now.
I checked behind a rock, and his wet suit is gone.
Keep the change.
It's unfortunate that your wet suit was discovered...
only minutes before the field was destroyed.
- Don't tell me you're not insured. - No. The poppy's a very sturdy flower.
You have been a relatively minor nuisance, in fact.
But this gun...
I find it particularly fascinating. What is it?
A shark gun, naturally, with compressed gas pellets.
Ingenious!
Don't pull the pin out.
The air in here is foul enough already.
Aw! Somehow I never thought of you as a poor loser.
I was hoping you would join me to a drink to the future.
Oh, Miss Solitaire used to know all about the future.
She was especially good at predicting death.
An underground monorail.
Connected to the last refuge of a scoundrel, no doubt.
The heroin leaves here, I take it, carried somewhere by that winch.
Correct again, Mr. Bond. What a quick study you are.
Let me show you exactly how it works.
- Where in hell can the man be? - Relax.
He must have got tied up somewhere.
These cans hold 25 pounds each.
There are 20 cans to a shipment, packed in watertight...
metal containers.
It's your show, but I'm sure there must be a simpler way of drowning someone.
Drown, Mr. Bond? I doubt you'll get the chance to drown.
Perhaps we could try something in an even simpler vein.
On the contrary, Mr. Bond.
I think you'll find those wounds quite fatal.
Whisper.
The gate.
Oh, slowly, Whisper! Slowly, slowly.
Let our diners assemble.
Look out!
- Where's Kananga? - Well, he always did have...
an inflated opinion of himself.
How do we get out of here?
We take the train, of course.
Thanks for everything, Felix.
I'll see you tomorrow night at the '21' Club, and don't be late.
I still don't see why you want to travel this way.
I mean, what the hell can the two of you do on the train for 16 hours?
Say good-bye to Felix, darling.
Now, the first thing to learn in playing gin rummy...
is to never take a card from the exposed pile...
unless you really need it.
Gin.
James, what are you doing?
Just testing an old adage.
Unlucky at cards...
- Do hurry up, James. - Won't be a moment, darling.
Lock the door as well on your way up, would you, James?
After all, we wouldn't want anyone to just walk in on us, would we?
The first time in my life, I feel like a complete woman.
The slightest touch of your hand...
I was always so afraid that a part of me would stay with the past...
but now I know there's no chance of that any longer.
Just to be able to reach out and touch you.
Mr. Bond, it's good to see you again.
James!
What's going on? Let me out of here!
James, let me go!
Well, that wasn't very funny.
Now what are you doing?
Just being disarming, darling.
"The End - Live And Let Die"